Wednesday, February 26, 2020

BERNIE BASH Coming Soon to Xbox 360

Get ready for Political Action!  Chase the old Jewish Socialist Democrat all over the Electoral Map and see if you can earn your Moderate Bona Fides while attempting to bring Crazy Bernie down.  Earn points for learning the liberal media talking points in Pundit Land "How is he going to pay for that", "Trump is licking his chops", "Medicare for All will never pass."  "He'll kill the down ballot", "He's a Castro fan boy", "He's unelectable", then take your bonus pundit points buy the weapon of your choice (but only the one you can afford)--Pete's Pea Shooter,  Klobuchar's Klub, Warren's Woman Wand, Joe's Javelin, Blumberg's Bazooka, Steyer's Stun Gun, Moderator's Machete, or Media Mega Mace--and take aim during Democratic Demolition Debate night.  Blood, Bleating and Blather rules as the also rans take turns bludgeoning the front runner.  Guaranteed to make Crazy Bernie unelectable and unrecognizable.  Then go participate in your state's Carcass Caucus or vote in a primary.  Just think of any mainstream position--I love Israel, rejoin the Paris Accord, we'll never be a socialist country, let's just fix Obamacare, anything including the words bi-partisan support, I want to keep my junk insurance, I believe in markets--and presto the magic ballot will choose the safest candidate.  Finally, you'll wake up as a delegate at the Democratic National Convention in Milwaukee, where Bernie will be drawn, quartered and immolated by Tom Perez and the DNC with state of the art HD graphics.  On the final night, use your remaining points to create a CGI dream candidate of incremental change (well, the one you can afford). Combine your favorite celeb with your candidate of choice and come up with a President-to-be only an American Idol could love.  Can your CGI candidate win in November?   

Disclaimer: 

Bernie Bash contains violence not suitable for under age gamers; must be over 18 to play; those convicted of a crime, not in possession of a voter ID card, or currently on a voter purge list in Wisconsin, Florida or Georgia prohibited. Game may be rigged. You can play but you cannot win.

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