GERALDO AND ME: the shirtless selfie

GERALDO AND ME: the shirtless selfie

For those of you who don't know about Al Capone's vault and Geraldo Rivera, which is probably most of you who are on-line tweeting and weren't alive then, but Geraldo hasn't been sexy since unearthing Al Capone's empty vault in 1986 on live t.v..  His cred as a journalist and subsequent sexiness has been in serious decline ever since.

He got even less sexy with the Geraldo Show, broken nose, skinhead brawls and all.  And then he joined Fox News, well, need I say more?  By the time of the 'hoody' comment we were never going to find Geraldo sexy again.  No matter how toned and youthful his body may be for a 70 year-old, you know, it's just not happening.  If sexy is an attitude, then Geraldo is just too damned annoying to be sexy.  He has a t.v. persona that's seduction proof.

I haven't even mentioned the face yet, but since it's in the selfie, I feel I have to.  Now, I'm no more ageist than the next person, and no more shallow about looks, but what do you say about ditching that moustache?  It's got to be circa Watergate.  I mean, he looks like he's wearing a permanent and less humorous Groucho Marx disguise.  That's just a silly way to look at 70.

This picture reminds me of those testosterone ads on-line where the guy with the really old face, has a body like a 30-year old competitive body builder.   It just doesn't fit.

I admire the fact that Geraldo hasn't had cosmetic surgery, being in t.v. and all, but maybe next time he'll shave the old 'stache, trim the hair, lose the sleazoid tinted glasses, crop the groin out, and, well, the nose?  Can't do anything about that.   Or, better yet, since not long ago I posted about the arch lack of artistry in these meta-mirror selfies, how about just having an artist photograph his well kept body for posterity.  Do it right.

What can I say?  My wall paper once featured a shirtless shot of me.  Then, I'm only 50.  And 50 is the new 30.  Plus my face still matches my body.

We're all going to be 70 one day, God willing, but, unless 70 is the new 40 by the time I get there, I doubt I'll be posting the naked truth about it.

Maybe dignity just isn't for celebrities.  Geraldo left his in Al Capone's vault.